amotleycrew:

[teen sister in a 90’s movie voice] my pronouns are what/ever/major/loser now get out of my room

calkestis:

#one chaotic found family

rat-presenting:

You ever just wake up from an incredibly graphic and realistic nightmare that was a pure psychological horror based on your own personal phobias and trauma and just roll over like “aw shit I got too hot last night I guess.” And then make toast like you didn’t just experience the nine circles of hell before 9 am

dreidels:

i opened tiktok this morning and every millennial on my fyp was whining about how halloween is dead and maybe i just live in the woke liberal nyc bubble but i simply don’t think that’s the case!! WHAT IS THE TRUTH

did you have trick or treaters this year

yeah a lot

yeah some

only a few

nope

i didn’t give out candy but saw a lot of trick or treaters

i didn’t give out candy / show me the answers

something else (tell me in the tags)

rachelfc-art:

By Your Side

dovin-baan:

tropicalscream:

blah blah Bethesda bad anyway

my favorite thing about Elder Scrolls is how goddamn fuckin weird it is

like on surface it’s just some dnd game but like even a cursory glance shows tis fucking insane like:

• The moons is the corpse of a god
• the stars are actually holes in reality when alot of primordial spirits hated that mortals were becoming a thing and fucked off
• The demon lord of forbidden knowledge/resident Cthulhu stand-in might also be the beta version of the entire fucking universe made sentient when it wasn’t chosen to be the used reality
• there are cat ppl that take the form of furrys, lions, or regular cats, so you can have a cursing Pirate legend whose an alcoholic & wanted in 5 countries but is also a like basic tabby cat
• the wood elves are so pro-nature they’re cannibals and also they murder vegetarians
• Vampires came from the Lord of Rape doing well ya know
• Werewolves came to exist bc the lord of hunt got bored and is a furry
• sex is treated like a fucking ip copyright contract on what aspect of sex is happening and what god it’s under. There’s been many religious wars about this
• The lizard ppl are part tree
• the Dwarves all fucked off somewhere and disappeared bc they were so atheist they did math to break relativity and literally no one has any idea where they went God or mortal (except maybe Cthulhu and hes not telling)
• Said Cthulhu stand-in treats hiding your grandma’s secret cookie recipe & hiding a spell that would end the universe and slay a god the exact same and he will murder you for either
• Everyone wants to fuck the Orcs but will never admit it and they got so bent out of shape that a demon god killed the og orc god, ate him, and shat him out bc she couldn’t deal with everyone complimenting them all the time so now all Orcs are cursed to be hated but they’re all still sexy & so is their god

And all this isnt even the tip of the iceberg

• the original home of the Redguards was an island nation that sunk due to someone swinging a sword in such a way that it caused an explosion akin to an atomic bomb

• the crusader hero that freed humanity from the enslavement of elves may have been a cyborg sent back in time from the future

• a god’s appearance and lore change depending on your belief and culture. If you believe it to be true, then it is true.

• all lore and reality is the dream of a sleeping god

• the ultimate goal of the elf group called the Thalmor is to unravel reality so that they can return the high elf race to godhood. To do this they need to destroy both physical and metaphysical “towers” that hold reality in place like pushpins holding down a map.

• one such tower is the entire race of aforementioned cat people because they once climbed on top of each other to create a “tower” to one of the moons where they got access to fantasy cocaine.

• another “tower” is the god of humanity who was once a mortal. To destroy this tower, they need to destroy belief in that god. This is why they manipulate the empire into outlawing Talos worship in Skyrim.

• a mortal elf achieved nirvana, realized they were in a video game, and altered the code to create the first mod of the game

• every single player character has also technically achieved Nirvana because you, the player, knows it is a video game

levitatingbiscuits:

levitatingbiscuits:

levitatingbiscuits:

Renaissance au where Obi-Wan is Padme’s fashionable cicisbeo and Anakin has no idea that he’s literally paid to pretend to be in love with her

Anakin starts slapping Obi-Wan with gloves and challenging him to duels. Obi-Wan never shows up, bc that’s not in his job description. Anakin accuses him of being insincere in his ardor, which he doesn’t deny. Padme only hired him for appearances so she just laughs and says she’s well aware when Anakin tells her Obi-Wan isn’t truly in love with her, which makes him start frothing at the mouth.

Meanwhile, Cody, the queen’s captain of the guard, is quietly pining for her hired boytoy, who’s so foppish and over the top in the presence of high society but drops the act whenever they’re alone.

the funny thing about cicisbei is that the truly fashionable women often had 3: the favorite/bottom bitch, the runner up/”rival” for her “affections,” and the dead last she kept around specifically for him to “pine” for her even after her repeated rejections. (cicisbei were only ever hired by married women, which makes it 10x funnier, because even after anakin weds her he STILL has to deal with a posse of dudes he is convinced are all trying to cuck him.) so eventually padme hires two more: quinlan vos and rush clovis. 

rush is, of course, the dead last, and unbeknownst to padme actually DOES have feelings for her, so every time he weeps in public after she curves him for the 40th time his tears are genuine. quinlan has a blast constantly challenging obi-wan, the favorite, for padme’s heart, to which obi-wan responds with aplomb because he’s a showman at heart. sometimes they meet up after work to plot out their next duel, complete with scripts and blocking. anakin is INCENSED that obi-wan apparently never fought him BECAUSE HE DOESN’T SEE HIM AS A LEGITIMATE CONTENDER FOR PADME’S AFFECTIONS. EVEN AFTER THEY’RE MARRIED.

padme takes them everywhere because they’re a convenient way to get out of obligations she doesn’t want to fulfill. if a senate meeting runs long then she just orders quinlan to leap atop the table and fight obi-wan, making the other politicians duck for cover, or bullies clovis into bursting into tears until everyone’s too distracted and uncomfortable to continue. she’s having a blast, and she’s gotten invested in the soap opera plotlines obi-wan and quinlan have been cooking up together.

knifefightscene:

dryadalis:

It’s open enrollment for insurance season, and I think it would be a lot easier to understand this stuff if someone bothered explaining what half the terms even mean

New policies still don’t cover therapy appointments outside of initial consultation 🙃🙃🙃

Even the woman at the benefits fair seemed confused when she couldn’t find more

It’s open enrollment for insurance season, and I think it would be a lot easier to understand this stuff if someone bothered explaining what half the terms even mean